And sent me flowers to wish me a “28th anniversary of my first C-section”.  A very kind and generous gesture!

Here’s her birthday answers:

1.Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

This is a really tough question because I like a lot of different people for different reasons. I think Jimmy Fallon would probably be a pretty good guest, keeping it both low-stakes and really generously fun.

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

Not really, no, unless it was exclusively for my writing or my EXCEEDING kindness, and my face was not attached to it. I don’t like the experience of making a continuous first impression.

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

I don’t call people on the phone if I can help it.

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

The vacation that I’m on now has been consistently GOOD days. Time spent close to the ocean, reading engaging books, eating good Mexican food, talking to interesting Uber drivers (they’re all fascinating!), and laughing at amazing comedians that I love and intentionally paid to see.

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

I don’t really sing to myself much, though I do sing to my cat a lot. The last time I sang to someone else, I was singing the cantina theme from Star Wars to my coworker who hates it.

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want?

I haven’t had the experience of being 30 yet so I can’t say for sure. I do think that I would likely prefer the body, if that includes the overall lack of disease in my brain (tricked ya!).

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

No, I don’t.

8. Name three things you would want your future spouse appear to have in common.

Generous laughter, passion about our own wellbeing and the wellbeing of others, and hunger to continue learning and growing.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

Gosh, everything. I’m incredibly privileged in my job, my freedom, my supportive family and supportive friends, and my sense of comfort in the world.

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

This feels like a pointed question. If anything, I wish I felt more encouraged to give other people and myself the benefit of the doubt, and a better understanding that emotional health means enduring shame and allowing for failure and uncertainty.

11. Take four minutes and tell your life story in as much detail as possible.

I was born to a young brave mom who found me an amazing dad. We were alone together for a while and then gained somebody new, and then gained somebody new, and then gained two new somebodies. I read a lot, learned a lot, had a lot of ambitious dreams for myself that were encouraged by others, but had not a lot of understanding in how to show up when things weren’t easy or weren’t interesting for my admittedly smart brain. I went to Germany for a while without really knowing why, but loved it and came back changed. I broke my back, and I physically recovered, but I didn’t deal with it emotionally. I went to college, couldn’t deal, dropped out. I worked jobs I didn’t care about for a while, spent time with friends I didn’t appreciate properly, worked for my dad in a good job but didn’t give it my all. I moved to Oregon from Utah on a whim, and there found great friends, found a challenging and ambitious job, found therapy, figured out how to try to be a grown-up and properly appreciate other people. I learned, and am still learning, to properly appreciate myself, my family, and my friends.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

The ability to endure shame and failure in a healthy way.

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to?

I don’t think I would want to ask anything. I’m trying harder to live in the moment.

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

There are a lot of specific things I dream of doing, and I don’t do them because of fear. Of failure, of rejection, of pain. I’m trying harder to show up and do them.

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

I can’t think of any one specific task or reward. I guess I feel most accomplished when I help other people to feel understood.

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

A sense of humor, and a spirit of support and understanding. My greatest friends at the moment are the ones that reach out to me unprompted, that perceive easily when I’m feeling upset or anxious and that understand me when I talk about it.

17. What is your most treasured memory?

These are hard questions! I’m not good at picking favorites and I don’t relish many specific moments for much longer than until the next one happens. Right now, I treasure the hour that I spent on the Venice beach walk watching skateboarders do their skate tricks. I felt a lot of peace and pride for those people, doing their best, in that moment.

18. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living?

Hmmm, probably! I’d definitely take better advantage of the paid time off that I get from work, and spend more time with my family.

19. What does friendship mean to you?

Mutual respect. Support. Fun. Willingness to challenge each other and accept when you’re wrong.

20. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

Historically, I’m not a very affectionate person. My best attempts at affection are unprompted gifts to friends, or continued inside jokes. I love a LOT of people and feel very lucky to be in the position to do so.

21. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

I don’t think any specific topic is too serious to be joked about, but I do not appreciate any malicious jokes on any subject. I don’t think it’s funny to represent stereotypes, or to divide the audience from any one person or culture or group of people.

Kind of a bummer to close on, but it’s your list of questions! 😉😘